oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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