My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
