wrigley field is MILF paradise
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
