You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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