If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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