Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
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