thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
