he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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