I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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