She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
