I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
