forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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