My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
