SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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