I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
