I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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