Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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