I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Randomize