Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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