How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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