That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Why did my mother make you get naked?
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
