what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
