Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Randomize
