I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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