The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
