All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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