Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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