What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Randomize
