When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
