i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
