He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize