That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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