ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
