she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I wish i was in the wii world.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I DEMAND FORESKIN
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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