i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
