If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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