with your own penis?
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
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Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
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please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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