I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
