I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
