Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize