what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
