I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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