So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
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