What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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