If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I love having hate sex.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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