just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
