even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
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