Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Me too!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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