Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
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he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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