Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
The Olympian is in my bed
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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