I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
