its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
