It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
