I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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