to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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