Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
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