We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
