i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
