We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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