I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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