i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
