I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Randomize
