Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
