Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
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