do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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