let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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