how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
just tell him i said nine months
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
