oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
Randomize
