im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
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