Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
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