Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
