and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize
