I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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