Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
Randomize
