you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
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I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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