So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
