It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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