words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
